Liveblogging The A-Team Re-Watch: Maybe It's Brilliant French Absurdist Satire?

I watched a few episodes lately and thought: why am I even liveblogging these idiotic thoughts? There's no sense to it. You can't play along at home. What is my purpose in life? WHY AM I EVEN HERE??

Well, all those pesky worries were before the glory that was S2E5 "When You Comin' Back, Range Rider?: Part 1"*.

• * HOLY SQUEALIN SHIT I JUST SAW THE "Part 1." THAT MEANS THERE"S A "Part 2." THERE'S ANOTHER WHOLE EPISODE! IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS!
• Ahem, as I was saying, this ep is Western themed. I believe the Range Rider character that Murdock is dressed as is a Lone Ranger analog. In addition to Murdock's outfit as he watches Range Rider, we also have another scene with an  honest to god Injun--know him by his headband!
• Okay, it's episodes like this that make me brilliantly paranoid. There's just no way anybody actually wrote this, took actual writing credit for this--without irony, right? I mean, this scripting isn't in earnest, right? Right?
• Okay, it can't be in earnest b/c if it is I have to commit seppuku over the plight of humanity. I don't have the energy for hara kiri today, so we are all going to agree that this tongue-in-cheek, yes?
• "Tongue-in-cheek." Remember how the first time you heard that phrase it didn't make any sense? How the hell is sticking your tongue into your cheek supposed to indicate humor? Wouldn't you accidentally bite your tongue while trying to tell the joke? And then it all got Explained To You how this impossible descriptor should exist, much less stand in a metaphorical shortcut to avoiding the use of any, *gasp* adjectives when trying to describe humor?
• Well, guess what, "tongue in cheek?" It doesn't make sense. It never made sense. You were right the first time. Don't buy into the lie. Trust your instincts. Don't let the man get you down. STAY GOLDEN, PONY BOY.
• So, what if this whole script is just the Ultimate Troll From A Privileged White Dude Writer ever?
• Heh. I can never remember how to spell privilege. Heh, auto correct on that one too. Yup, never really remember, never really knew, because I NEVER REALLY HAD ANY!! I'M FROM THE STREET!! KEEPIN IT REAL.
• But really, what if this writer was just like: Oh yeah. Lemme stick some stereotypes together so I can laugh my ass off. Ha, mental illness is hilarious--let's make TWO of em crazy!
• I mean, really, get in that headspace: I like to laugh at things that are different from me! Hur dur! Because:
• Mr. T is on a Horse, Y'all.
• No, really. They are all in their character's version of cowboy outfits and a slow praire croon cranks up in the background and we have a 5 MINUTE MONTAGE of stunt doubles wandering around some fields astride their fierce mounts and what's even fiercer is that Mr. T stick-on Mohawk Cranial Plate thing you got hot glued to that stunt double's head i don't know how to end this sentence
• But really, Mr. T on a Horse.**
• No matter how funny you think this looks, A-Team Writers, you should not have done such a thing. Do you realize you just went Mr. T to the power of Horse? You have created the mythical Ultra Badass Centaur--He Who Cannot Be BeaTen.
• Horse, people! Have respect for the Exponential Damage Potential a Horse produces. If I'd been a table topper I could make some witty remark about 12 sided die and Hit Points, but I'll not pander to you in such a way. We've too much respect between us.
• Hannibal. Has On. Chaps.
• Murdock has chest hair. Hey guys, remember when men had chest hair? Me too! Do you think Burt Reynolds used it all up and now nobody gets any? Guys are getting almost as conditioned as women with their legs. Lookout dudes! Don't let hair oppression happen to your gender too!
• Dwight Schultz has on chaps, too. But they're his special plastic chaps that he watches children's shows in. And believe it or not, I mean that in the non perverted way it can't possibly come across as.
• Dwight Schultz' Range Rider accent is amazing. Seriously, his whole voice. Did this guy do any voice acting? Seriously. Total waste if he didn't.
• Okay, here's where I suspect a troll-y writer. The boys are staying out of sight. But wait, Amy's in trouble. Hannibal gets on the jazz and decides they have to intervene, but guess what? Everybody put on your masks, WEE R IN DISGAIZ, GAIZ. Face says, "Yeah, nobody's gonna recognize us." I feel like this could be Heavy Trolling. I also laughed out loud.

** This section was supposed to be a picture of Mr. T on a horse. But my searches were in vain. Instead, I found this. Now you will suffer, as I have suffered.