Awww Shucks

My friends decided I needed a little pick me up. So, inspired by their trip to Bass Pro Shop, I was the surprised recipient of a drive-by-rednecking.

The meal also included some Honey Kettle Fried Chicken, which is damn fine chicken. I am in love with the goblet--it even has its own lid.

Many thanks to LinLin and HJ. I didn't know I needed a pickmeup till you picked me up. :)

More Random Things

Random Things

Sunset on Venice Beach.

Surprise dinner from my crazy Brazilian neighbor: okra and eggs.

Studying The Insane: Freezers.

Tahoe.

Happy Birthday Leetle Seester

Happy Birthday, Pretty Momma.

Erange Bro!

Completely gratuitous butt shot.

 But now for the main event:

LVC judges you. And finds you wanting.

Trufax: LVC doesn't have to wear a costume. He dresses like this. Every. Damn. Day.

Moustache was surgically removed for this role.

Lee Van Daaaaaaaaaamn! (Please note completely authentic Apache Diaper.

Thou art not alone! Others share your views:

http://thebadnet.blogspot.com/

And finally, your one true abiding love:

Hey girl, mind if I stalk and manipulate you while giving you hypothermia? True love means never having to tell your boyfriend "No."

Happy Birthday!

For A Friend

In the ongoing effort to stay positive in the relative shitstorm of life, my friend and I were discussing "filling the well."

I suggested that she fill her well with some inspirational human beauty. Now I've decided to make her. Muahahahahahahahah...cough. Sorry. It's early.

And that's all you get for now. Back to the salt mines!

Do You Carry Every Sadness With You?

Every hour your heart was broken?
Every night the fear and darkness lay down with you?

Well, I have yet another medical appt today. For this one I had to dig through my voluminous medical history file and pull out some stuff about past surgeries.

And there it is: a loose leaf novel tracing my pain over the years. On xeroxed duplicates, yellow carbon copies, endless transcription printouts, some fun full color photographs of the inside of my pelvis.

It's just. . . it's really sobering. Saddening. Disheartening. I think I've now spent more years of my life in pain than not. It sounds awfully dramatic, but it's taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that what I'm dealing with is a chronic pain condition. Because it falls under the disdained and dismissed umbrella of "woman troubles" the message has mostly been "It doesn't count."

Or, "Just take it all out." Yup, female anatomy is disposable. Especially if you're not having kids, because what else could those parts be for? I just can't even go down that road right now because I will be filled with Black Rage.

I am so very tired of doctors. I'm tired of medical issues being one of the primary foci of my life. I'm tired of pleading my case.

But what I will never grow tired of is bringing Deep Hurting to unsuspecting trivia players. On my last night in town I joined my little brother's trivia group.

It was some really hard stuff. We were in 4th or 5th place by the final round. But we went all in. And then I redeemed myself by suggesting the right answer within 5 seconds and having my brother confirm it. It was one of those answers that I just pulled out of my ass. I still don't know why I said it, of all the guesses I could have made. But that is the awesome force that is the Fierce Family. If you have an ass, we will kick it!

M

My keen intellect can be inferred from my scratch pad during trivia:

I secretly believe it was the stick legged land shark doodle that gave us the mojo to win the game.

Mercury Falling, I Rise From My Bed

Collect my thoughts together. I've gotta hold my head.

You know you've reached a low point in life when you realize that being a surrogate mother or donating ova are no longer viable money making opportunities.

This is low because you don't have children, and certainly don't want to have children, and definitely don't like the idea of other people having your children.

This is also low because you realize your ova would be considered near expiration date anyways.

This is is even lower when you realize that with your health history, no one would want your DNA.

This is lowest because you even considered it for a nanosecond when reading craigslist.

Went out last night with blau and Princess O for what turned out to be a mostly delightful evening. It was a good group in attendance, including a bonus prize of a surprise Scotsman. So between the German, Austrian, English and Scottish accents, I was in aural heaven.

In other news, January is the month of endings. My Unenjoyment Benefits are up. My health insurance expires. And unless I get a job in the next 20 days (a real, actual pays-me-enough job), I have to move out of my apartment.

Dude. Seriously.

Good thing I have Ricky Gervais on my desktop to cheer me up.

He's a cheeky bastard.

Now back to, um, whatever. Trawling the interwebz for jobs and raining destruction on the fewls who dare challenge me to Words With Friends.

Christoph Waltz: The Sound Of Angels

Yeah. Watching Christoph Waltz deliver lines is like being covered in spangly butterfly magic sparkle kisses of love.

Listening to Christoph Waltz is, I imagine, like being the cobra entranced by the piper. There is something just left of sibilance in his pronunciation, a quasi-nasal flatness, and the echo of singsong lilt.

Also, Django Unchained is an unapologetic, invigorating, remorseless act of hilarious vengeance. If you can leave that movie feeling either a)settled or b) not in love with Waltz, you are made of far sterner stuff than I.

uuuu guuuuuh

Au Revoir, Shosanna!

So I take my leave of you, Emerald Coast. Knowing that we love each other best when we see each other least. And this poor devil heads back to paradise.

Anybody wanna give me a job?

New Year's Confessions

I hate New Year's Eve and Day. They are my second least favorite celebrations. The occasion affects my Humours most severely, and I find I'm often struck by terrible Melancholy.

Tonight wasn't so bad. But as I often am, I was lost in the morass of my own thoughts. Tied up in dread of future tasks.

And yet.

Family came out to dinner and some to the party afterwards. My friends continue to be amazing hosts. I finally got relief from some persistent pain. I'm relatively sane and perfectly sober at this ungodly time of night.

I don't really know what to say. I've quite run out of words these days. Or the belief that anyone wants to listen. Or whatever.

Here's some other stuff that happened.