Oxymoronic Endeavors and The Joy of Silliness

I had this whole other post, but it was a major downer, man. And I don't feel like dragging my gentle readers through more shit, or in getting raked over the coals again by folks who draw conclusions without ever reading my stuff or actually speaking to me.

Let's just say that it's been a bit of a struggle to stay mellow lately. Some might posit that exerting effort to stay mellow means you're doing it wrong. Those people are idiots. Or just really stoned. Some days it just feels like this:

Flames. . . on the side of my face. Burning, heaving. . .

But that doesn't mean that cool stuff isn't happening as well. I went to a party last night and chatted about. Lovely weather, but since it dipped below 70 degrees we had to fire up the outdoor heater for Princess O. Most people don't know she's originally from Jotunheimr. So I guess she's never recovered from her icy upbringing.

Though, if she is a frost giantess, maybe she can hook me up with some Jotuns.

Yes. I'm looking at his headgear.

Anyhoo, the party was lovely. Though if somebody offers you punch made from champagne, rum, and maraschino liqueur, you should perhaps stop after about two cups. Just a suggestion.

My lovely friend Blau, in addition to offering me some replacement parts from spare items around his house (it's basically an Apple stockroom in there), casually threw in the Adobe CS 5. Just in a sealed package  he had laying around.

And to top it all off, when I left I was handed the fish bowl that had a sign on it asking for "Donations for the Punch Preparation." That turned out to be code for "Alms for Hawkeye's Dickensian Life." It was a lovely and kind gesture, and quite sensitively handled, as I have been having some real issues with handling being the Pitiable Wretch once again. When I was sorting out the change in the fishbowl today I found a Ralph's giftcard and a $250 card for Target. I almost started crying.

Princess O's response summed up why this was so nice--it's not the gifts themselves: Most welcome. That's one of the things community is good for.

And in other fun news, there have been some goofy texts flying back and forth lately. My current faves.

After sending out a Michael McDonald lyrics spam, I got this:

K: I'm so taking to the streets and make you listen to the music just when you keep forgetting its only what a fool believes.

And my bro and I don't communicate often, but when we do it's super random. This exchange had me in tears. I couldn't even shoot pool, I kept laughing so much. I thought we might get thrown out of the place.

Bro: Diarrhea is like a storm raging inside you.

Me: Wwhat? Lol...wut?

Bro: I'm watching MST3K Fugitive Alien 2.

Me: I hope you are happy. I now cannot shoot pool for shit.

Bro: Diarrhea.

M: God damn you. You go to hell. You go to hell an you DIE.

B: Die...arrhea?

M: I hate you so much. My mascara is running. Running like the explosive sharts down your pant leg.

B: Just a little diarrhea? Or just a little torture? (Teenagers From Outer Space)

M: I thought for sure that diarrhea would hit them. (Eegah)


B: Why don't they wipe? (Eegah)

M: You are srsly gonna get me kicked out of this bar. Also: Squirt McChunderpants. (Space Mutiny)

Yup. More than you ever wanted to know. Classy all the way.