Things That Piss Me

Oh man. I've been working on a Sneaky Rage Spiral this week, and it's about to blow.

I find it incredibly rude and a major turn off when you are trying to make simple plans, or even inquiries about plans, and the person you are talking to can't be bothered to be responsible for any of the information. They can't even be bothered to listen to you.

It's that specific situation where you say, "Hey, I don't know what your plans are for XYZ span of time, but maybe somewhere in that timeframe we could. . . "

And they respond with "Oh, I don't know what's going on/This completely unrelated thing is going on and I have nothing to do with it. Talk to my spouse/friend/pet turtle because they have organized it."

Note--there could be absolutely NOTHING organized, but they are still getting ready to pawn  you off on someone else.

You interject, "I'm not trying to change any pre-set plans. I'm just wondering if you have time or interest in doing LMNOP any time in this upcoming timeframe. . . "

Again, you are cut off. Usually you are told to call the other person. Wait for them to call you back. I just want to ask these people, how do you even manage to get through the day without soiling your undergarments and drooling out all your unchewed food? You can't even express an opinion about a possible preference for a hypothetical situation---a situation who's execution hinges specifically on your interest.

Perhaps I am being too circumspect. Let me clarify: I don't give two flying fucks if your girlfriend/boyfriend/goatfriend wants to fart or blow a tin whistle. I am calling to ask if YOU are interested in something. All you have to do is listen for 30 seconds, and say yes or no. Hell, you can even listen for 30 seconds and THEN launch into your incredible tale of decision making handicaps and how NOTHING can be decided without consulting the Oracle, Your Pet Turtle.

Just do me the basic courtesy of hearing me out before you are lobbing the phone across the room at someone, screaming "INCOMING!" and then wandering off to sit in the john for a few hours.

Because you know what? I called YOU. I might get more than just YOU, I understand how these package deals work. But I called YOUR NUMBER. Not theirs. Please try and bear through a few torturous moments on the phone with me. Here's a little bit of helpful info--if you'll just sac up and tell me "No" from the get-go, then the conversation will be OVER. No need for pointless follow up. Imagine that! The mind boggles! The senses reel!

This kind of crap makes me want to turn off my phone and just avoid everyone. I can't imagine anything good coming out of such muddled and pointlessly laborious beginnings.

In summary: humanity sucks. Coast to coast.

ETA: Just because I don't want to harsh your mellow, let me share another incredible moment from Allie at hyperboleandahalf:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html