- that you feel like crap on a stick for no particular reason, but that feeling is here to stay?
- belatedly, that you should have just belted one back at the house before heading out?
- you should probably just leave and head to the nearest bar or bowling alley, immediately?
- if none of the above are plausible, take mallet. Apply to head. Repeat as necessary.
In other news, stalking is alive and well, but sadly geographically misguided. My future ex-boyfriend Gerry apparently loves NYC and wants to spend all his time there. Not cool, Gerry. I don't care that J-Dog lives there. She will never love you like I do.
This is exacerbated by the fact that he has decided to start looking amazingly hot again. I love him all the time, but SRSLY, this is just stupidly good looking:
I am just a sucker for the longer locks, of which he is sporting an abundance of lately. I believe I spy a wayward cowlick. How come it looks good on him, and just deranged on me?
Insult to injury, apparently GButz was hanging out in FL around the winter holidays.
WAT??? Gerry, why do you torment me so? That's like shooting alligator luggage. Like you are actually *trying* to rub my face in it.
I like that pose there. It's all Action!Gerry. Ready to kick off those flops and clear the hurdles of drooling South Beach Babes in a single bound.
And just to please myself (since nobody else is in a rush to):
Aww. They are so cute here. I like to think this is where they realized they didn't have to fight over me, and that their friendship would endure.
This is the kind of shot that one dreads---being caught with your mouth open and eyes closed. It's like being caught eating. But ABrods profile shots are a thing of beauty that I will cherish in any form. (Gerry knows it, too. He's like, "Check this shit out, this mofo is gonna end up on BlatherBlagh, fo shizzle!")
Four bullets that describe my entire week. Anyone remember biorhythms? I believe... God spent this week calling people I knew to be angels. It was Friday night and I got really drunk. Toasting absent friends.
ReplyDeleteGerry is seriously hunky. Don't know who he is, but agree.
Hope your weekend is better than your week.
orchidlover
OL--
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. It sounds like a triple, quadruple, quintuple caution day/week for you.
I don't have anything profound or comforting to say. I'm just sorry.
I know what you mean man, the moving (non)adventure was harshing my mellow dude.
ReplyDeleteAnd what the hell is up with GB's hair? It's like he's gotten in touch with his inner toddler. You know how a toddler's hair is all curly and there's the ringlets? That's his hair right now. He needs to get back to the Spartan look, especially with the loincloth (cause I know how you roll) STAT.
I also must agree with your boss, flip-flops are to only be worn if you are at a beach, pool, or bath-house. All other places are unacceptable. Unless of course you're Jesus or a Spartan in a loincloth.
Not to be confused with Ted Nugent in a loincloth.
Omer--
ReplyDeleteI love Gerry's hurdew.
And surely you realize that when you hate on his current style, you are hating on my normal, everyday, fucked up hair, right? You know I walk around looking like an extra from a Whitesnake video/Attila the Hun movie.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT, HOMES?
You lost me on boss and flip flops---but again, I feel personally attacked. Just because I rolled into work in some zoris and yoga pants the other day doesn't mean you gotta be down on me.
SOMEBODY'S BEEN GUZZLING THE HATERADE. And his name is Omer.
But I forgive you. I know the house thing stressed you out. Apparently, a lot.
Now I have to go vomit a little, because you made me visualize the Nuge before I've had the chance to ingest any caffeine. Bluch.
PEE ESS: Just because I know you won't be pleased unless I do:
I AM THE ALPHA MALE!!!!!
When the blue hell did you start writhing on the hood of a Jaguar in your underware?
ReplyDeleteIt's ok for teh ladies to roll in flip-flops (to me anyways). Mah lady rolls in teh flip-flops from time to time, and I'm no foo. If I wants teh sweet lovin, I keep mah mouth shut about teh flip flops.
I was just sayin that GB don't look natural with the locks of lurve. Those are not the locks of a man that will rip out your jugular and beat you with his flip-flops, no he looks like he wants to be Tom Brady, you know "Mr. I Won Three Super Bowls Fuck You Ima Gonna Marry Giselle And Have Some Wicked Locks Too".
But this isn't how the world works, because THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!
Now THIS is a Gerry I can get down with.
ReplyDeleteJ--
ReplyDeleteOur next outing needs to be a destination vacation together. The site?
Butler-Brody Town!
(We're getting down! We're getting down!)