How To Fall For Gary Oldman

One day I need to dedicate a post to whomsoever is in charge of programming across the HBO channels. I suspect they have a very perverse and delightful sense of whimsical humor. And it reminds me very much what I would do were I given this kind of god-like power over a semi-captive audience's viewing experience.

Anyhoodle, this is how I found myself catching the final parts of Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban. Then switching channels and realizing the Peacock in Kung Fu Panda 2 is voiced by the incomparable Gary Oldman. And then watching the whole movie for that reason.

In the interest of full disclosure, my road to Oldman appreciation got off to a very rocky start. See, we had to overcome what might be akin to a rather horrific first date. All because of this.

Does anybody else want some icing right now? Coffee?

I know, I know. It's shallow. (And probably blasphemous to some.) But my introduction to Oldman was as Dracula. And he did not fulfill my sexiness quotient for the Ultimate Vampire. The cinnamon bun hairdo didn't help, but it was something more. Continuing bad long wigs? A wobbly chin? Suspect facial hair? Lack of chemistry with Winona? I don't know. But it took me years to be able to appreciate that Coppola flick, and it was largely due to my inability to accept Oldman in that role.

 

For what it's worth, and whatever it says about my aesthetic sense, if Oldman had been sporting either of the above looks in Dracula, I probably would have been way more on board. Maybe I'm just an incontrovertible hair snob?

My next run in was The Fifth Element. Risking the stoning of cult fans everywhere, this was a movie I never quite got onboard with. I don't hate it. I just don't adore it the way most do. As for Oldman in it, well. . . 

Jeez, maybe I really am shallow and it IS all about the hair.

 In addition to some interesting sartorial choices, I calculate that Oldman's performance in this increased the scenery budget by at least 20%. And that he got plenty of roughage during this shoot. YMMV.

I heard about Gary throughout the years in various roles. But I didn't catch up with him again until Hannibal. And I adored him in that role. Mason Verger was a complete digusting smear of a human being. But onscreen he was simultaneously repulsive and mesmerizing. Oldman acted through about 5lbs of latex. Impressive.

I always forget this is a Ridley Scott film. And there's a deliciously glib Verger quote from this film that pops in my head at the most wonderfully inappropriate perfect times.

 

Well, then Batman Begins happened. And with Jim Gordon two things happened: I finally liked an Oldman character and found him good looking.

Fine. Yes. There is something wrong with me. It's very hard for me to fight against a good moustache. They just equal imminent likability. It was also really cute when he drove the BatTank.

 And I've been appreciating the man's work in small increments since then.

This was a compelling character. Just file under More Signs That I Need Lifelong Therapy.

Late night cable find Criminal Law. Remind you of anyone?

I mean, seriously. Isn't it creepy how much he looks like Senor Bale here?

But the final awesome assault came this past awards season. I defy anyone to remain unmoved in the face of this level of cool.

So here's to you, Gary Oldman. Please continue rocking. And I will endeavor to catch up with your impressive backlog.