Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Despite my age and my ashamedly high number of experiences, I still manage to make some of the same mistakes repeatedly.
Last night I showed my ass and committed various acts of buffoonery. There may have been some chemical alteration involved. Those who've had the misfortune to hang with me for any length of time will know what kind of night it was when I say: hit the point of skipping glasses and swigging straight from the bottle. Classy, that's me.
Details are hazy, and I was having a pretty bad day behind it. But miraculously, all the involved parties have been more than gracious. And a really good friend gave me some great advice: I can torture myself about my behavior, but I should really put a little faith in my friends and worry a lot less about the world at large. Everybody screws up. And she reminded me of something a bunch of folks have mentioned to me over the years: nobody thinks I'm a bigger asshole than I do.
So I'm allowed to screw up. Though I really should try harder not to--or at least to screw up in new and interesting ways instead of the same ol' shit.
The really nice thing that happened today was that I got to have a few conversations with some folks, and got to experience their niceness, and got to hear how one friend is really doing a lot better. I think that bit of news did more to raise my spirits than the very kind words specifically for me. It is so heartening to hear hat someone is having some success,
A strange day. A sort of feeling that I have gotten off the hook unfairly. And the realization that this place is different--at least the crowd I'm running with. Everybody sort of lets you do your thing, and doesn't bat an eye.
So I'm guessing the Garden Party was loads of fun?
ReplyDeleteOne of the last times I got really stoopid drunk (before I met the wife) was not too long after I moved to CA.
I went to SF for a weekend to see some of our peeps. One night night while I was there we ventured out to a karakoe bar. I got so drunk and stoopid I hit on virtually every girl in the bar, making a complete ass out of myself in the process.
I woke up the next day feeling horrible because of my behavior. One of those "I can't BELIEVE I was such an arsehole!" feelings. There was some teasing about it from some folks, but it wasn't seen as the end of the world.
I guess out here, folks are used to more fucked up shit than someone being foolish after a few drinks.