What Really Happened To Your Christmas Present

Dear Mom,

Your craft-challenged child decided to learn to knit and make glorious gifts for everyone for Christmas. Fast forward 4 weeks and we have two projects in motion, somewhere around the 8th iteration of each. Little progress had been made, but there were great hopes for the downtime during this trip.

Others, however, had different plans.

Crime Scene Photo: Exhibit 1

Crime Scene Photo: Exhibit 2

But who could be so nefarious?

Main Suspect

The suspect was found with bits of bamboo on his muzzle. These pieces closely match the fragments shown in Exhibit 2. Investigators believe the suspect blitz attacked the developing scarf, catching it completely off guard. The knitting was dragged from the coffee table and deposited on the ground. It is believed that the suspect was really after the bamboo needles, as the majority of slobber and tooth damage were found on those remnants.

Those close to the knitting, which was a casualty of the attack, have reportedly said, "Oh well, it was crap stitching anyways." There are reports of laughter upon finding the crime scene.

And that's how I spent my Christmas vacation.