Billy Collins, Firefly, Nathan Fillion, Moments of Lucidity, and Other Distractions (Beautiful and Not, Per Your Personal Interpretations)

The capacity for self distraction is both a boon and a detriment, in some cases a probable cause of significant self harm, even. However, when finding oneself on what could best be described as the bipolar version of a narcoleptic insomniac's sleep schedule, it's good to be able to find things to do.

Things that don't wake the neighbors or require leaving the house at odd hours. Cabin activities.

Speaking of neighbors, I'm pretty convinced my across the way cohabitant has installed a small sun as the lighting source for his porch. A bright white luminescence now fills my front windows. I awoke from one of my lepto-nods today and the it was so bright in the windows I wondered if the 10:00 on my cable box was actually a.m. 

******
So, my honest reaction to reading this was just to actually say outloud, "Goddamn, Billy Collins." He's just that good.

Flames

Smokey the Bear heads
into the autumn woods
with a red can of gasoline
and a box of wooden matches.

His ranger's hat is cocked
at a disturbing angle.

His brown fur gleams
under the high sun
as his paws, the size
of catcher's mitts,
crackle into the distance.

He is sick of dispensing
warnings to the careless,
the half-wit camper,
the dumbbell hiker.

He is going to show them
how a professional does it.

--Billy Collins

*****
I didn't get into Buffy the Vampire Slayer until the last few seasons, then at the urging of my roomate. My dood roommate. He's usually pretty spot on about good tv, had some discs, and he got me hooked.

As much as I enjoyed the series overall, one of my favorite and enduring personal memories comes near the very end. A new bad guy shows up on the scene, strutting around in a priest's outfit, and looking very, very familiar to me. It takes a bit, but my traitorous brain finally makes the connection and I reveal my shameful viewing habits:

OMG! IT'S FATHER JOEY BUCHANAN!

Do you think Father Joey took vows because of the whole affair with Dorian? Is she really the First Evil? Does Viki know?

I guess things got weird after he left Llanview. Maybe he went back and freaked because Randos were constantly walking around, claiming to be his brother and stuff (though, srsly, anything would have been an upgrade from the Kevin Buchanan model they were running at that time--that hair, and those blazers, and that freaking Cassie storyline, oy vey!) and that's what turned him to a life of pure evil?

No one knew what I was yelling about then, and probably still don't now. But Nathan Fillion, who has gone on to do many cool things since, will always be Father Joey Buchanan to me. And that always makes me laugh inside.

Interestingly enough, Father Joey Buchanan went on to play a priest yet again, though this time much less diabolical and much more yellow.

Dracula 2000: Father David is totes getting ready to skip town, thereby denying fans a hot makeout scene with him and Gerry Butler. Selfish. Also, I believe he was up for the Jonny Lee Miller role, and the directors liked him so much they revamped this part just so they could give it to him. 

And lest we ever forget, the you know what is his you know what:

*****
So, through the magic of Netflix and continued unemployment, I've started watching Firefly. Don't even try to geek-shame me, bitches. I do things on me own schedule. I'm just now getting to some filing from the Mesozoic era. Stone slabs be heavy, y'all.

So it's a space western, which is nice. And they based Mal Reynolds' outfit on Han Solo. Which won't get a peep of complaint outta me. I could do without the outmoded sexist attitudes and very pointed use of the word "whore" that gets tossed about A WHOLE FRIGGING LOT. I keep hoping this is leading to some type of character revelation like ZOMG Mal's mom was a ho or sumjunk.

But then they have a scene where everybody gets their panties in a twist because two chicks are going to have sex. REALLY? Because that's still a cause for comment in a future filled with a sect of people who roam the galaxy cannibalizing, raping, and murdering (not in that exact order) everything they come across? I remember this from ST: TNG. Some lame ass episode where Dr. Crusher is all hot for this alien who switches hosts and when he switches into a female host, BLAMMO, then her Twu Wuv is Wuined. She even says some bs line about "Our species hasn't learned to deal with that."

It's not that I expect or even want to see omnisexuality or whatever. It's just that in the context of sci fi/fantasy these moments like that can really take you out of a work and highlight the obvious hang ups of either the writers or the society you live in.

Whatever. Let's be shallow. FX are good. The ship reminds me of some animal or protozoa or sea creature....I can't put my finger on it. Some kind of thing I learned about long ago, a water horse or something. Damn...that's not quite it. Cute Whedon-y dialogue. Nice acting. Suspiciously skinny girl who will no doubt kick ass despite clear lack of any visible muscle. Fun show.

Are they speaking Chinese sometimes on this show? Sure sounds like it, doggerel Chinese, perhaps. If so, awesome choice for a common language of the future. Very nice touch.


*****
Sometimes my mind don't shake and shift
But most of the time it does
When I get to the place where I'm begging for a lift
Or I'll drown in the wonders and the was
...Cos I'm tired of whys choking on whys
Just need a little because because. . . 

When my brain does work, it sometimes works like this:

I'm reading a description of a character practicing on a cello. They start out playing pianissimo. Then they progress to piano-forte. The author says this literally means soft-hard. As I keep reading, I think that this means that piano must mean soft in Italian, which is very interesting. And in English forte is used to mean specialty. But that doesn't really make sense. A person doesn't announce that diplomatic negotiations is their business hardness. So, in addition to being your specialty, your forte could be your niche, or your. . . strength. Strength is the same as strong. So, like in English, strong and hard can have similar meanings. You strike the key or the string gently/softly or strongly/hard.

I find the conclusion of a thought process like this very satisfying. I imagine it's what people who understand math must feel, when they see a problem and solve for a solution. I don't understand math--I have to work very hard at it and I am never sure of the solution, I can never see the answer within the question. But little word puzzles like this, simple as they are, amuse me to no end.

*****

Well, I've been trying to write this thing for near on 4 hours now. Guess a writer I'll never make, as I couldn't account for quite what happened there. But filling out this last part damn near took me out.

I tried to do find a live version of this one, but fookin L---knowing what I know I just can't watch that boy, it's too damn painful. I can't praise every aspect of this piece of musical brilliance enough.

i'm here today and expected to stay on and on and on
i'm tired
i'm tired
looking out on the substitute scene
still going strong
xo, mom
it's ok, it's alright, nothing's wrong

You don't really follow that up. You just put something beside it. I love this un-ironically. It curls around what passes for my heart, and and it's almost like the slowing, almost stuttering tempo in the outro is reminding that organ to sync up and that everything is broken or breaking, and don't forget to lock the door on your way out.

PS....Also, mostly Radiohead just fills the world with Amazing, but today Thom's Basement version of Last Flowers made me burst into tears within the first four lines. Fucking Radiohead. I will Not put them on heavy rotation today. *hides new Radiohead CD*