Down one, we uncart our wares from the local store, plug this, click that, and have a functioning piece of electronica installed and running for our entertainment.
Down the other path is despair, cursing, hours of fruitless rewiring and internet searching, and possibly the most dreaded outcome of all: a trip back to the store.
I believe reader's of BlatherBlahg have a pretty good betting spread on how this one will go, based on historical karma and all that.
Film at 11.
Update 1, 1:09 PM: Hookup cords salesman assured me were in the box are not in the box. Put wine in freezer to chill.
Update 2, 1:12 PM: Due to hoarder tendencies, have cables required leftover from some other electronics. Am on page 23 of How-To manual. Still no mention of how to actually hook device up to any other device, like, say, a TV. Transfer wine to icebucket, freezer will take too long. Take my nerve pill.
Update 3, 1:34 PM: Abandoned useless instructions, after realizing the below highly detailed illustration was extent of hookup guidelines.
Skipped fancy stuff and wired direct to TV to determine viability. Mashing of random buttons and alterations of various unrelated settings equals success!
Painfully enter in WiFi code via remote in style of ancient texting to access Netflix. Sit back and wait.
Update 4, 1:46 PM: SUCCESS! Watch a few minutes of BBC miniseries to confirm. Dance on the ruins of the stupid stage.
Immediately begin planning to rewire system for better sound, blah blah insanitycakes. Open bottle of wine in celebration. With the advent of Netflix streaming on my TV, prepare to Never Get Anything Done Ever Ever Again.
Final Update, 2:50 PM: I KNOW EVERYTHING!! I AM EVERYTHING!!!! Have now rewired entire system so tv and blu ray plays through the now defunct DVD player. Does it take 3 remotes to work it? Will it be rendered moot by a much easier, more streamlined system if I ever get a job again? Will guests at my house be rendered unable to operate even the simplest entertainment system without a detailed schematic? Could a brighter person have rewired this in half the time?
WRONG QUESTIONS!!! Right question? Clue: Is Hawk having A Moment?
Answer: HELLS YEAH!!
Additional reward: Fassbender is now speaking French on my screen. And killing people. *sigh* He's so dreamy.
Huzzah!
ReplyDeleteS
Your mission should you choose accept it:
ReplyDeleteGo watch all of FX's "Terriers" and BBC's "Luther". Two of the finest, best-written, well-made, detective shows that have ever been on television.
"Terriers" is so good, I wish I wrote it. "Luther" is so good, I'd be terrified if I wrote it.
Enjoy being stuck on your couch UNTIL THE END OF TIME!!!
Or you lose internetz.
Sir, it is done and done.
DeleteI'm looking forward to seeing BBC "Cracker." I saw the US production with Robert Pastorelli, and it was sublime. I will be renting that as well.
Try out a few episodes of "That Mitchell and Webb Look." It messes me up. In subtle and profound ways.
As far as "I wish I wrote it," ....."Homicide: Life of the Streets" remains at the top of my list. So freaking good. Pembleton. Bayliss. Arghghghghghghhg. My main men in Baltimore land. Fer realz.
Ever check out "Lovejoy"? Our man in Amsterdam, McShane's the lead in that.
DeleteThis is pre-Swearingin though. No screaming "COCKSUCKER!" at folks, but there's a mullet involved.