I could have sworn to you that the sun was about to rise Right Now for the last three hours. By the time I'm done typing this I might finally be right.
Insomnia in your own place can be vexing. Insomnia in the domiciles of others can be downright hellish. I'm doing okay with this one, but I'm getting a little tetchy here in the final stretch. I'd like to pack my luggage, since that activity usually takes me at least three hours. However, that type of activity would disturb my bedmate. So I'll just have to chill with my freaking OCD crap for now. I mean, that's what god made iPads and Xanax for, right?
I kid, I kid. I know that those things were really invented by Benjamin Franklin, Albert Schweitzer, and Moses.
Wow, I feel dirty. I feel as if I've just taken Schweitzer's name in vain. I must now recite 10 Louis Pasteurs and 12 Nikola Teslas.
I am sort of doing a good deed. See, I'm visiting the Woosters (Bertie and Bef) and my roommate is one the fruits of their loins. Crap....not only was that a gross sentence, but I think I just now realized that "fruit of the loom" might be a play on words. *facepalm*
ANYWAYS. . . so my roommate decided that she was just gonna wake up around 2 am this morn and start wailing away at the bars of her jail like lifer in the state pen. This kind of display usually brings one of her bleary eyed parents running, and they go sacrifice goats and do meth, or whatever it is that parents do to make babies stop crying.
NOT THIS TIME. HAWKEYE P.I. IS ON THE CASE.
And so here we are, ten years later, and guess who is snoozing in the literal center of the bed, and who is saring bleary eyed at a computer screen? Go ahead, I'll wait.
Yeah, it took lots of wallering around, a couple conversations (I can really relate to this one year-old), some quasi yoga moves, tummy rubbing, and finally a few reps of hava nagila! But she finally fell asleep. On my leg. And her face.
Point being, through my dedicated and possibly kosher ministrations, I was able to provide the parents with their first night of uninterrupted sleep in over a week.
However, the relative merits of this good deed are probably zeroed out by the fact that I just snuck into the kitchen and stole the last Pepsi. Whoops.
ACK! The Tiny Tyrant Terror just moved! It might be waking! Do not anger it, for it's wrath is mighty, and can only be assuaged by food. YOUR food. That's, like, traveling towards your mouth that instant. No separate checks waiter, I'll just knosh off my friends plate he. Did you want that fry?
for whatever reason, our kid wakes up between 1 and 3am. Mrs. C usually gets up with her because the kid goes bonkers when i try to do it. she's punched me in the neck and tried to take out my eye dude! blue's clues are what usually saves me, or Mrs. C getting because the kid keeps screaming.
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