It started off with a migraine so bad I couldn't sleep.
This led to diagnosis of tonsillitis. Yep, because I'm an 8 year old or something.
But wait, what better way to follow up a night of intense head and sinus pain than with a night of throat pain so bad that you can't sleep more than 45 minutes a whack?!?
Bonus points for not being able to lie down: dials the pain up to 11 because it compresses the tonsils or some shit.
It hurt to swallow spit. It hurt even when I didn't swallow.
Fortunately, my good friends Princess O and Lin Lin both ferried my deranged ass around town. Between doctor's offices, phone calls, and WAY too many trips to Rite Aid, I am as prepared as one soul can be for the oncoming night.*
2011: So Not My Year.
*That's prepared in the sense that doctor's won't provide heavy duty pain pills (not really desired) or a steroid spray to reduce insane swelling which has caused partial blockage in throat. How the hell are you supposed to get better if the inflammation prevents you from eating, drinking, swallowing the med, or sleeping?
You really are having a shitty year. I'm going to send you out a free copy of my "Live The Shane Byrd Healthy Lifestyle" pamphlet. My method has kept me out of the hospital for almost 30 years!*
ReplyDeleteShane
*Please consult a doctor before starting any health program specifically banned by the FDA.
Several sprays of one of the throat numbing over the counter (geez I can't think of brand names, ummm Cepacol, chloraceptic) might allow for swallowing of medications. There is an herbal tea Throat Coat that soothes sore throat temporarily and would allow for ingestion of warm liquid. If you can take aspirin it will not only relieve the pain it will reduce some of the swelling. I'm so sorry to read that you are sick. I hope that any of these suggestions will help.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
OL
Maybe if I'd only kept smoking Pall Malls. . .
ReplyDeleteOL--That is exactly what I did today! :)
Grabbed some BCs and Cepacol spray--that stuff is potent. But it def brings the numb, after some mace like stinging. But I ain't complaining. It's more help than the doc was willing to give.
Slurped down food and meds since then. Fingers crossed for actually being able to lie down and sleep tonight.
Pall Malls are only recommended for the first 8 years of "The Plan". They help to promote "lung regeneration". Afterwards, when you are stepped down to filtered cigarettes, your lungs will continue their healing much faster than the rate of additional damage. The heat and filter of the cigarettes combine to create an impenetrable barrier to airborne germs and bacteria.
ReplyDeleteAlso in my pamphlet are instructions on how to increase blood-flow by the addition of natural lubricants, such as corn oil and rendered animal fats, to your diet.
Here's to your health!
S
ice cream motherfucker! ice cream!
ReplyDelete