Do You Hear That?

It's the anemic pitter patter of what passes for rain here in the cleverly disguised semi-desert environs of Southern California. Have no fear. It only lasted a brief while and quickly dispersed as the sun came up.

But here's another cool thing to listen to, Star Wars flash mob:



In other news, I give up on my nearly week-long battle with whatever the hell is wrong with my sinuses/cranium/life and am going to the doctor. I don't imagine it will do much good: I have applied all manner of medications and treatments to this condition. So unless it's some New and Exciting Affliction, I imagine the doc will just send me on my way. After a lenghthy period in the waiting room and the requisite stress of parking in L.A. Yuck.

Magic = Physics = Buddhism = The Dreaming?

I have a passing interest in quantum physics. I'm not nearly trig enough to understand it all, but the concepts are always intriguing. The math leaves me in the dust.

It's October, so appropriately we have Photons From Beyond The Grave. Scientist Joachim von Zanthier (rockstar name alert) proposed the expanded principle involving action at a distance and entanglement. Then Hagai Eisenberg went and performed the experiment, essentially proving that out of a set of four protons, Proton 3 was affected by Proton 1. The catch is the effect kicked in after Proton 1 ceased to exist.

OoooOOOOooooo! Ghost Protons! Or as I like to think of it, Jewish Grandmother Protons that can reach beyond the veil of death and jack your shit up. (Guilt: the most powerful force in the universe).

And the circle of life goes on.

LOLcats are like the Hallmark of the interwebz. There's one for every occasion.

So maybe we can figure out what's up with the cat? For some reason, this feels like cheating to me. And it also made me realize that I've an entanglement of my own. I've conflated the Schrodinger situation with the observer effect and the uncertainty principle. Oh dear. Well, that's what happens when plebes play in the Big Science sandbox.

Speaking of Universal Truths, I just got done rewatching Bull Durham for the eleventy bajillionth time. This movie is so real, fanciful, allegoric, and completely honest all at the same time.

Kevin Costner gets a lifetime pass from me for this movie. (And because he's been nice to me in a couple of dreams. But mostly this movie). I'm not even a baseball fan, but this movie makes we want to be one. So many good parts, including:

• When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. 
• Annie Savoy: her outfits, her philosophy, her rejoinders, everything. The contents of her bedside drawer always crack me up.
• Crash's "belief" speech.
• The Manager and his incoherent cursing.
• Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.
• The "lollygag" speech.
• Pretty much every facial expression Tim Robbins has. It takes a lot of guts to play Stupid so very big.
  
•  The Meeting On The Mound: We're dealing with a lot of shit.
•  The lesson on learning your cliches. I have worked these lines into conversations with almost all my bosses.
• The rose goes in the front, big guy. 
• This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.

As always, I remain the player to be named later.

How To Fall For Gary Oldman

One day I need to dedicate a post to whomsoever is in charge of programming across the HBO channels. I suspect they have a very perverse and delightful sense of whimsical humor. And it reminds me very much what I would do were I given this kind of god-like power over a semi-captive audience's viewing experience.

Anyhoodle, this is how I found myself catching the final parts of Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban. Then switching channels and realizing the Peacock in Kung Fu Panda 2 is voiced by the incomparable Gary Oldman. And then watching the whole movie for that reason.

In the interest of full disclosure, my road to Oldman appreciation got off to a very rocky start. See, we had to overcome what might be akin to a rather horrific first date. All because of this.

Does anybody else want some icing right now? Coffee?

I know, I know. It's shallow. (And probably blasphemous to some.) But my introduction to Oldman was as Dracula. And he did not fulfill my sexiness quotient for the Ultimate Vampire. The cinnamon bun hairdo didn't help, but it was something more. Continuing bad long wigs? A wobbly chin? Suspect facial hair? Lack of chemistry with Winona? I don't know. But it took me years to be able to appreciate that Coppola flick, and it was largely due to my inability to accept Oldman in that role.

 

For what it's worth, and whatever it says about my aesthetic sense, if Oldman had been sporting either of the above looks in Dracula, I probably would have been way more on board. Maybe I'm just an incontrovertible hair snob?

My next run in was The Fifth Element. Risking the stoning of cult fans everywhere, this was a movie I never quite got onboard with. I don't hate it. I just don't adore it the way most do. As for Oldman in it, well. . . 

Jeez, maybe I really am shallow and it IS all about the hair.

 In addition to some interesting sartorial choices, I calculate that Oldman's performance in this increased the scenery budget by at least 20%. And that he got plenty of roughage during this shoot. YMMV.

I heard about Gary throughout the years in various roles. But I didn't catch up with him again until Hannibal. And I adored him in that role. Mason Verger was a complete digusting smear of a human being. But onscreen he was simultaneously repulsive and mesmerizing. Oldman acted through about 5lbs of latex. Impressive.

I always forget this is a Ridley Scott film. And there's a deliciously glib Verger quote from this film that pops in my head at the most wonderfully inappropriate perfect times.

 

Well, then Batman Begins happened. And with Jim Gordon two things happened: I finally liked an Oldman character and found him good looking.

Fine. Yes. There is something wrong with me. It's very hard for me to fight against a good moustache. They just equal imminent likability. It was also really cute when he drove the BatTank.

 And I've been appreciating the man's work in small increments since then.

This was a compelling character. Just file under More Signs That I Need Lifelong Therapy.

Late night cable find Criminal Law. Remind you of anyone?

I mean, seriously. Isn't it creepy how much he looks like Senor Bale here?

But the final awesome assault came this past awards season. I defy anyone to remain unmoved in the face of this level of cool.

So here's to you, Gary Oldman. Please continue rocking. And I will endeavor to catch up with your impressive backlog.

We Are Not Alone (Jumping Around All Nimbly Bimbly)

And it's scary.

Do I look like a cat to ya, boy?

I've done this to people in staff meetings and stuff. But this is pretty ballsy, on national tv and all. And dedicated. The article is correct, he really hits his stride at about 2:21.

All of this makes me really crave a LitreO Cola. It's French.

Mad props to Omey for the link.

Because Captain Picard Is Always The Right Answer

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I apologize for the ads. And I really apologize if it's the Charmin bears one. I hate those much--I can't even type about it. It's bad for my bp.

things that pop in your head

people are so damn fragile
and that's the honest truth
they break so very easily
but that won't stop them from breaking you

The Real Reason I Can't Get A Job

They're on to me.