Travel, Ho!

I really wasn't sure how to punctuate that title. Eats, shoots, and leaves--indeed.

Because I ain't got no job and ain't got shit to do, I will be driving up to visit with some friends in Tahoe. I hear it's a magical, wonderful place.

Geosynchronous Positioning Systems* have really altered how I travel by car. It takes a lot of the knee jerk OCD out of navigating for me. I've only looked up directions to my destination twice now. I haven't felt compelled to write them out longhand or make a crib sheet. I feel like an almost normal person--fairly content in the knowledge that I will manage to get near my destination, at least close enough to figure it out. (*I might be making this up, but it sounds good and I don't feel like looking it up right now).

Not a big deal for some, but loads less stress for me. GPS--it may not get you exactly there, but you'll be in spitting distance. And it's invaluable for navigating the roads as they cut through towns. Because we all know that road signs don't always let you know that the interstate you want to stay on requires you to be in the right lane RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW CUT ACROSS TEN LANES OF HOUSTON TRAFFIC RIGHT NOW.

So Mick** and I are off sometime in the next few days. It will be fun to hear him mangle the Spanish pronunciations of all new places. Australian GPS voice programs don't intuit the subtleties of Spanish syllable emphasis very well. Example: Sepulveda. Mick says SEH-puhl-VEE-dah. Good times. (**Yes, I named my GPS. Why not? He talks to me more than most people.)

Quick Movie Reviews!

Magic Mike. Oh Soderbergh, you cheeky bastard. Well done and with a surprising amount of heart and pathos. Most stunning is Charming Potato being, well, actually charming. McConnaughy is wonderfully oily (literally and figuratively) and the whole things is beautifully shot.To quote some guy on Facebook, "If you're worried that watching this movie will make you gay, too late. You're already gay."

Puncture. Based on a true story about a pair of Texas lawyers uncovering health supply fraud in hospitals. Focuses on the invention and subsequent suppression of a type of safety needle. Chris Evans plays the hard drugging, hard living lead attorney. It's a good story, with only a few glaring Hollywood intrusions into the narrative. (The car following Evans for the implied conspiracy, Evans being ridiculously ripped despite being strung out, etc). I find Chris Evans surprisingly charming as an actor and person, and believe he has more in him than action hero status. He delivers here, though it's fair to note that his character still exhibits some of the loose, friendly frat boy vibe that Evans does so well. But it works for the character and is, arguably, in character.

In fact, Evans does such a good job that it makes one slip up particularly jarring. It's when Evans confronts the opposing attorney during a late night meeting. They verbally spar, and Evans delivers an exit line. The tone of the whole scene is just off, and feels like something from an action movie instead of an indie semi-biopic. I wonder if it was a re-shoot that Evans had to come back for during the filming of Cap A or Avengers. It's that different from the rest of the film.

The other WTF came from the location. Ostensibly, they did shoot in Houston. The evidence is there in the exteriors, the scenery, the outdoor long shots. But it's totally not believable because everyone is running around in suits and NO ONE IS SWEATING. This is absolutely impossible and flies in face of All That Is Known in the universe. If the sun is out and you happen to be standing under it, you will sweat. Hell, the humidity in the air will just condense on your face. You will be dewed, like the tender blades of grass in the misty morning. What I'm saying is IT'S HOT AND STICKY AND THERE'S NO ESCAPING IT.

Silly, but it really took me out of the movie. I'm sure non-Houston natives won't have that problem.

Sex and Death 101. Starring the crippingly handsome Simon Baker. This is a farcical romp through a year in the life of an engaged man who receives some mysterious information about his love life--past and future. It's breezy and fun, with enough silliness to keep the plot zipping along. Filled with solid actors you will recognize on sight, if not by name. I really enjoyed the fourth wall asides, the screwball reactions, and the general airiness of it all.

Did I mention that Simon Baker is stunning? I'm so hung up on The Mentalist these days. This was a lovely change from the Patrick Jane persona. However, be warned: Baker does smile in this movie and that smile is still blinding. He grins and the sun comes up, birds sing, cats and dogs lay aside their arms and sing kumbaya. Powerful weapon.

In other news, Stephen Hawking lost a bet. I'm not even going to pretend that I know enough about particle physics to understand what this means, but it's a pretty big deal. Seems like the Hadron Collider was built*** to try and verify the existence of the Higgs boson. It exists only for a brief moment, and is the only particle without movement/rotation(?). Acts as a facilitator for the existence of other particles. (***AND to create the black hole/spacetime rift that will destroy Earth in accordance with the Mayan prophecies of doom).

Coming soon: The Mentalist and my Top Five Freebies list, with *extensive* runner up list.