Frustration, Whining, & Pissiness

This post should be avoided by plants, animals, babies, and all other living things.

The fuckers stole my q-tips. Seriously.

Somebody who hasn't contacted me about any of this sent around some kind of email discussing my plight. And they sent it to my mother. Which is Not Cool, as I was purposely not telling my mother or certain family members because they are in the middle of some medical/surgical drama as we speak.

My mom did not need that extra stress at this time. And I didn't need the extra stress of trying to relieve her of that stress while what we should really be focusing on is my brother who's in surgery today.

My car is in the shop because the shitty thieves have my spare key and can come over and take it anytime they want. Don't know when the shop will get around to it, but the initial estimate for changing the locks/ignition/all the crap required to make my car secure again starts at $1500.

A couple of fun things always happen when disaster strikes.

One is repeating the same story over and over again. Which isn't so bad, compared to dealing with the same know it all Monday morning quarterbacking that goes on. No, I don't have renter's insurance. Now that we've established that, do you think you can refrain from repeating 10 times how much I should have it and how you or your friend had it and what a good idea it is blah blah blah?*

No, I didn't keep all the receipts from all my purchases for the last 15 years. Let's move on, shall we?*

Can we please spend a little less time reminiscing about your near brush with robbery, or the time you sort of got ripped off, or the thing that happened to someone you know but never happened to you?*

No, I didn't take extra security measures with my home desktop computer. Living alone and having sole access to the cumbersome 10 lb tower, I really didn't think in term of other people having access to it. Do I really have to justify that?*

Hi Banking/Credit/Institution representative. Could you try to act less incredulous that I kept personal information in my house and on my computer? I realize it's a big pain for you to do your job when I call for assistance, but maintaining a modicum of professional demeanor doesn't seem like asking for too much.*

But if you really want to piss me off, let's do two things: focus repeatedly on YOUR reaction and how YOU feel and all the things I should have done to make YOU better able to police my home. That's nice. Tell me again about how you noticed the tarp obscuring my broken window, but you aren't really responsible for not doing anything because I failed to inform you I was going out of town.*

Because, yeah, informing everyone you know that you are going out of town isn't a safety hazard. It's not like this may have happened SPECIFICALLY because somebody knew I was out of town.

And please, by all means, continue giving fucking pointless advice like "Well, now you know never to leave your spare keys at home."*

Actually, no. I purposely began leaving non-essential keys at home after I almost lost my keys on a cross country trip. My logic said: surely it is better to have them at home, and perhaps only have to pay to open my front door, then to lose my keys in some airport somewhere and never see them again.

So, see how there really isn't a best solution? See how sometimes fucked up shit just happens, and your bullshit attempts at drawing conclusions and producing platitudes just reflects your own reactive and limited imagination? In other words, STFU.*

*It's not that any of these things are in and of themselves infuriating. What makes it difficult is the sick human compulsion to subconciously compare, gloat, and congratulate yourself while doing all this. There's this underlying sense "Phew, better you than me!"--which is understandable. Not admirable, but understandable.

What's not understandable is that the sense of relief is usually accompanied by a self congratulatory air based on the false premise that "This didn't happen to me, because I'm Smart. Let me show you how smart by giving you pointless advice on closing the barn door, harping on my belief systems, etc."

No, assmunch. This didn't happen to you because you are fortunate. Chance has smiled on you. A series of events led you to be in a different place and time. The random wheel of fate spun, and you weren't the stuckee. So quit fucking patting yourself on the back while standing in the ruins of my living room and my life.

This post brought to you by the letter Bile.

ETA: this post does not address all the kind offers and shows of support I have received. I am thankful and fortunate to have the friends and family that I do. I'm just having a little trouble accessing my gratitude banks at the moment.