Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid, But They Still Turn Me Inside Out.

Some new and potentially important things are going well right now. It's hard to enjoy partially because I'm just exhausted beyond all belief and I'm not right. In the head.

People seem to think I'm kidding, but it's been a rough 14 months and quite honestly the few years before that weren't none too gentle neither.

I don't even think I'm running on fumes anymore. I think I'm running on delusion, possibly. I don't know, I can't make complex distinctions like that right now.

However, and possibly related, it is fair to say that it is also hard to enjoy because I'm missing someone right now. I just don't seem to be very good at these things.

I would try to tell them, but that's what got me in this mess in the first place. I think. I don't know. I may be having a PTSD flashback. I really need to get on a better eating schedule. One which involves things like eating.

So, some cool things are happening and what's even cooler is the effect on my roommates and family. They seem very happy to have some good news, however silly it may be.

It's like there's a party going on inside but I'm stuck outside the window, staring in. And the bitch of it is, it's my party.

bewlsheet

i resolve to be more celebratorial about my acomplifications

DAYS INCIDENT FREE: 0
BITCHES CHOKED TODAY: 1
WEEKLY COUNT (Sat-Fri): 3
SUMMARY: HAWKEYE HAD TO CHOKEABITCH THREE (3) TIMES THIS WEEK. OF NOTE, FOR ONCE, MANAGEMENT WAS NOT DISPLEASED.