man in a suitcase returns home, apocalypse expected

sometimes i feel like i need to barf up or slough off the bad energy i've been around.

that sounds totally CA woo-woo, but let me give you an example: spending time with an extremely dysfuntctional family who are fighting while a young woman is getting brain surgery. for tumors.


so, yeah, i wish i could rinse away the residue of that


Positive Aspect: Cousin made in thru surgery, initial stuff looks good. Hopefully she is on road to recovery.

And with that, off to watch season premiere of Walking Dead.

I'm pretty sure that if they deface my boo, I will be done with the show for life. I got enough stress without worrying about Rickle Pickle all the time. He's my totem animal. I need him to be okay.

PS---SFO to LAX, by ground, in 5.5 hours. Personal best of my N-S trips lately. And I didn't even leave until 12:22 pm. Basically I folded space time.

Interstellar - Does Being Dumb Help?

Late to the party, as always, but I finally got to see Christopher Nolan's Interstellar.

(And no, I still haven't seen Inception. Pls see mgmt with any complaints).

Very interesting movie and one that I'm really glad I was able to remain spoiler-free. Not because of any amazing PLOT TWEESTS, but so I could let the movie unfold as the story it was meant to be, rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop.

What I'd like to ask about is some very basic science used in the movie. It appears to be a bone of contentious discussion on the Interwebz, and I have a feeling this is one of those things I'm too dumb to understand. I invite anyone smarter than me (and they are legion) to disabuse me of my simple notion.

Mild spoilers and "scientific" discussion after this cut.

ABOUT TO WATCH LAST TWO EPS OF WALKING DEAD

OMG!

my emotions! my emotions!


i am so worried about my Rickle Pickle and his recent unsavory behavior.

NEVER GO FULL SHANE! C'mon man, everybody knows that.

And what's with this hyper convenient plot about an abusive husband?

i miss my beardo

ME SEE GIRL ME LIKE...ME TAKE

NO RICK NO!*

I hold you to a higher standard than that. You're better than that. Please be better than that.

Carol: the most lethal of the group, hands down.
Sascha: My girl is having bad PTSD, but she's got legit reasons
Daryl: Aw--he made a friend.Who must be a good guy if Daryl trusts him. He motherfucking better be. I'm watching you, Aarong.

SO MANY FEELINGS

and so to view


*though mgmt cannot explain why the shot of rick talking about "just taking" alexandria was so stupidly sexy. such is the power of rickle pickle.

If I Fall Any More In Love With Rick Grimes This Is Going To Get Awkward

Vague The Walking Dead spoilers through S5E3 to follow. You know, you could probably consider the title a spoiler. Whatevs.


It's already embarrassing.

I'm not sure when this Rick-Love started, but I realized how bad it was tonight when I was watching S5E3 and I said, out loud, alone in the living room, "Oh lord Rick please don't do anything stupid or get hurt or anything bad because if something bad happens to you i just don't know what i'll do!!!!!"

That is soooooo pathetic. I mean, this is The Walking Dead. The minute you think you can't live without a character is the minute they become zombie food.

Except Daryl.

Believe it.

Anyhoo, The Walking Dead is wearing me out. It's not just about the Rickle Pickle. When Daryl stumbled out of the woods at the end of this ep there was about 3 seconds where he didn't speak. In that three seconds I thought:

OHMYGODDARYLPLEASEDONTBEBITTEN

AIIIIGGAAAWDWHYARENTYOUTALKING

OHJAYSUSHELPMECAROLWHERETHEFUCKISCAROL??????????????

Or something to that effect.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to giggle when Rick said "Carol and Daryl." Pretty sure I was supposed to be horrified after he macheted that douchebag Gareth to death--but I wasn't.

Pretty sure I was supposed to empathize with Maggie and Glen's horror at the church carnage. I didn't. Think I was supposed to feel bad when Michonne got her katana back. I cheered.

The Walking Dead: When The Zombie Apocalypse Is More Cheerful Than Your Life.

Here's Why Helping Other People Is The Best Medicine

(I got stuff. Thangs.)

It's nothing noble: that notion to reach beyond yourself in moments of darkness. That urge to help another person isn't some altruistic act that elevates you to a Zen plane.

It's purely selfish.

When help another person, you take the opportunity to write the script for what you wish the universe was saying to you at that very moment. It's like you're writing instructions: see? see? THIS is what I need to hear!

You get to pour every ounce of love, compassion, honesty, empathy, gentleness, importance, and sympathy into it that you wish the world were showing you.

You get to live out what you need by becoming what you want. Tricky bit of business, that. Takes a particular type of neurotic not to almost make happiness out of that.

Fuck all dis noize!!! Imma jam on The Walking Dead!

spoilers of the broadest kind for Walking Dead to follow

Hush yore pretty little mouf, baybay. No worries. I got 600lbs of Walking Dead here. Aw yeah!

I'm Rick Grimes, biatch! Do I love Rickle Pickle because I aspire to be like him? Or do I love Sheriff Friendly because he aspires to be like me? Mobius strip of mutual admiration.

I don't know if my roomate's noticed, but every time I try to do Rick's voice I end up sounding like Bill Clinton. Damnit, Andy Lincoln! How you gonna make a southern-escapee not be able to do your accent?

Sorry, I laughed way too much at this one not to include it. It's okay if you don't get it. It's sort of the pinnacle of an Internet meme. You also have to be deeply, morbidly disturbed to think it's funny. I don't know how I ended up with so many Rick gifs.

Okay, seriously, is he just always eyefucking the camera? That looks like a godamn cologne ad.

It is also worth noting that many nice things happened to me today, including getting invited to a thanksgiving, congratulated by the gas station guy, and loaned $.25 in line to get sodas.

and that's why helping other people is the best medicine

Olympus Has Fallen

Imagine my surprise when the credits rolled and the director was Antoine Fuqua. I expect Fuqua to be uneven, maybe a little hammy/epic, but well shot and almost slavishly devoted to plot.

Or maybe I'm just talking outta my ass here. I'm probably at least partially conflating my expectations of Fuqua as a director with Gerard Butler as a producer/creative input.

See, I really enjoyed Law Abiding Citizen. I owned it. It was a comfort movie. Not a fall-asleep comfort movie, but one I would def watch on the regular couple times a year.

It was horrifically and viscerally violent in parts (dat opening scene), it also had lots of implied violence that was just as (if not more) disturbing. C'mon man, that scene where Clyde is calmly and cheerfully informing the rapist/murderer/pedophile(?) about how he's going to torture and dismember him and keep him conscious and looking in a mirror while it happens? That is some fucked up shit, man. Very disturbing. And well played.

Which is a long winded way of saying that I like violent movies, hell, I even like violent Gerry Butler movies, but I don't like Olympus Has Fallen. This is not the fun kind of violence. Which is a shame, because there's a shit ton of it. This movie had so many dead bodies as part of the interior and exterior props that I kept expecting Sheriff Rick to bust through bushes and lay six slugs from his heater into soon-to-be-zombies.

C'mon y'all: admit it. Rick is a Badass. And whoever has done the season branding and concept art totally has to be consulted if they ever do any film on the Dark Tower series. Fo realz.

There were some really good (and inexplicably unarmed) hand to hand combat scenes. They did a nice job with several of the Special Forces aspects, including knife defense and offense, tactical takedowns, and general gun competence. But, a lot of the action felt almost mean spirited. People were hurt excessively for no reason. I mean, they don't even make the evil guy a sadist or anything. They just need excuses to head tap or beat the shit out of anybody in the room who has a vagina. Am I supposed to be grateful because no one got raped?

And that's what I mean--lookit that thought right there. If a movie is entertaining me, I don't have time to draw that kind of conclusion. This movie, it gave me lots of time.

Gerry Butler is handsome and buff and skillful and manly and quippy and loves kids and he is completely wasted in this film. I'm not sure how Gerry was trying to play this. It's almost like he is doing a Mel Gibson/Lethal Weapon meets John McClane/Die Hard thing. And he doesn't realize that everyone else is in the Baysian Overkill Kablooey But Totes Serious Drama mode. Gerry's approach was too light hearted in the wrong places for a movie where not only to we get to see the killshots up close, we get to see the smear of blood left behind for the rest of the movie.

Gerry, you are better than this. You have your own charm. Don't conform to the blandness enforced by the rat bastards. You can act--I've seen it!

And just in case none of that was applicable and you were acting your heart out in that movie: stop fucking with your face, Gerry. I don't care if it's not technically surgery. Stop. It. Your face is fine. It's great. It's one of your most endearing features; don't pick at it.

Again---see? What kind of thought is that? How you gonna blow up the White House, BLOW IT UP, and me be over here thinking about Botox and the state of Gerry Butler's soul? It's your own damn fault, Olympus. You bring it on yourself.

It ain't just Gerry, though, to be fair. I'm pretty sure Dylan McDermott got tired of hearing, "Now we need you to literally snarl this line while you're waggling eyebrows here." I'm pretty sure they had to edit out most of Angela Bassett's takes because their genuineness clashed with the whole scene. Also pretty sure that Morgan Freeman will escalate to the Bitch Slap level rather than let you mis-direct his performance. Could be wrong.

Aaron Eckhart. Hmm. Okay, buddy. You're on the watchlist. In the past I would have scoffed at the mere thought, but that was before I, Frankenstein. New evidence has been brought to light, Dude. Watch yourself, Eckhart. Yes your a stupidly handsome blond--which is an accomplishment, in my book. However, you are still a blond. And you know for a fact that your nose rating is adversely affected by your chin/jaw ratio. And you're a blond. Which means, Mr. Eckhart, that you are not Required. We merely Tolerate you. And it would do you well not to fall out of Our favor. And no, We don't know why We are using the royal We now.

So, this has gone on far too long. The plot was ridiculous but not fun, grim but not realistic. The acting. . . was. Gerry Butler admittedly looked fine as hell and yes, I am always happy to see Ms. Bassett. But, the glibness, the disrespect you treat the subject matter with while offering nothing in return? You can't make that movie now. You can't show us our vulnerable underbelly and then try to soothe us with macho bullshit. That time has passed.

Furthermore, if you're gonna come at me like you are shooting at the White House, try building a set or five. Try not making your greenscreen so frickin obvious. And don't skimp on night effects just because the screen is darker. 

Wrong tone, wrong time. And a shame, because there was plenty of talent in front of and behind the cameras to make this collaboration something special.

Also wik, here is a delightful Q&A with cast from Walking Dead, addressing the Serious Issues.

*i was gonna put a disclaimer here about how the only reason i feel so free to glibly criticize like this is because there is absolutely zero possibility of this ever a) reaching or b) reaching and harming the critiqued. They will never see this. And if they did, would they really give a fuck what some loser on the interwebz thinks? It's almost unfathomable. But then i typed this instead.

Watching Spike Lee's "Oldboy" Pt 2, 3, Final

• Oh dude, what if they fed him false info on who his daughter is? Those tv shows, the specials. What if the Olsen girl is his daughter? Oh man, what if this gets Greek?
• And at 1:07 we have our gratuitous butt shot. Of Evil Wickus. I did not know that was in here. I will never stop misbehaving if I don't stop getting rewarded for it. REWARD!
• Pertaining to the plot, Sam Jackson is a badass, natch. EW has some interesting torso scarring. Does this explain his bizarre facial hair? Can he only grow it in that ridiculous shape? The plot sickens.

TBC

1:16:16

• Oh wow. I really hope that's not his daughter dude. Evil Wickus looks alarmed as well.
• Speaking of, how the hell does that bastard have cameras EVERYWHERE this guy goes?
• And what is up with a recent sexual assault victim getting all bathtub-y and walking around in a towel? WTF Hollywood? People do not respond to physical assault by making themselves uber vulnerable immediately afterwards.
• Oh christ. Is she in on it? This movie is making me paranoid. I should not do realtime reviews. The pause button is my enemy.
• I like this actor, he's grown from a character into somebody I feel like I know.
• Well, I'm guessing that ol' Brolin is the cause of EW's scars and he did him some Turrible Wrong in prep school.

TBC

1:41:00

• Well, it really sucks to be right sometimes. It got crazy Greek up in there. 
• Now I'm interested to see the Korean version. The plot was a little spacey and a little too neat in some places, thought the overall tone was so grim and violent that it softened those effects.
• Very strange that it all led back to high school, basically. 
• Interesting that Brolin took a monastic/Catholic style of repentance. I would have killed myself. But he is punishing himself way more than that.
• Evil Wickus was interesting. I guess that's a modified Luxembourg accent? Some of his line delivery was a little too "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to listen to my exposition." It may just be b/c the other Copley roles I've seen obvs had a lot of improv thrown in.
• To the Google! For Lux-accents and plot comparisons!

Watching the Spike Lee "Oldboy" Pt. 1

Never seen the original. SPOILERS AHOY!

Know it's a revenge flick. Supposedly there's a TWEEST. Have had Korean original on my radar for years, but I'm expecting hella brutality. An hour in, here are my thoughts:

• Damn, Josh Brolin be unlikeable. He's going balls out on this. I call this "shameless shameful" acting: when you are willing to look real, real bad. It's a compliment.
• Wow, this is a stylish movie. The color themes are quite beautiful and surprisingly bright while retaining a gritty, dirty look. Sounds oxymoronic, I know. Maybe it's just moronic.
• They feed him vodka to prevent DTs? The choice of tv shows is rather serendipitious: mixed martial arts, yoga, kung fu movies. Is that on purpose or a shout out? There are some strange choices going on here.
• Oh shit! Sam Jackson! MULTIPLE VILLAINS! Score!
• Okay, so my homey Brolin has been mentally and physically prepped for something that took 20 years to reach fruition. He's being unleashed as some kind of retribution, on the surface. But what if it's further revenge? Or what if he's supposed to be the revenge visited on the Main Villain's opponent? That was a tortured sentence. And that's a helluva job on preparation.
• Main Villain (here on out: Evil Wickus) has a completely different voice from this actor and I can't place the accent. I really can't, it's throwing me bad. I am eager to see the Korean counterpart to Evil Wickus. I have a feeling he'll be a bit fey.
• Holy shit, Brolin just hammered up the entire cast of the Beat It video. This is a really well shot fight sequence. A little too much delay in the mass attacks for believability, but easily forgiven with the great camera work and linear visuals.
• Does this Olsen chick remind anybody else of Maggie Gyllenhaal. How the fuck do you spell that? Gyllenhall? Gylennhall? Gylenhal(llllllll)?
• So here's the proposition: Who is Evil Wickus? Why is this happening? Let's have a mini breakdown right here. Think out loud with me, won't you?
• EW raped and killed Brolin's wife
• EW is threatening Brolin's kid
• EW has a badass bodyguard
• EW offers confession, proof and suicide (bullet to my brain) if Mr. B can answer his questions three  two. Who am I? Why am I doing this?
• EW has told Brolin to think on his sins, his past misdeeds.
• As EW was the rapist, putting his current age from 38-48, citing an approx age of 20 when rape/murder occurred. 
• EW's offer of suicide/confession implies that he has a deathwish/no attachment to life. If he's not lying. I don't think he is, for some reason.
• Is EV terminal? For 20 years? Unlikely.
•  EW is ridiculously rich. Diamonds. Untraceable. Extravagent. Why? Why wouldn't the offer of a sparing Brolin's daughter's life be enough? Strange gesture.
•  Is Evil Vickus* actually illegitimate or cast-off Brolin Jr? Is this a daddy thing? Man, that is some serious patience to work out your abandonment issues.
• 20 years is also a long time to torture someone and then let them possibly escape from torture. Why? The truly devious mind would envision this whole thing as a way to torture Brolin even more--forcing his admittance to his complicity in his own demise or forcing him to kill his remaining family (daughter). If subject is a family annihilator, he is the slowest one ever.
• EW's own daughter, own wife, own family were taken from him by Brolin, tangentially? Did he maim EW's daddy in a bar fight? 
• I'm getting nowhere with this.

43 minutes to go. Well paced so far. TBC.

*sorry about all that. Sometimes I type it like I pronounce it. 

Sharlto Copley. Hmm. What's Up With That?

I saw Elysium (Dir: Neil Blomkamp) recently. It was a really solid sci-fi movie. I was pleasantly surprised. But I after I looked it up and discovered it was a Blomkamp (District 9) movie, it all clicked into place.

Well, you know, I actually looked it up after I saw/heard Copley in a scene. I was years late to the party with District 9, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. I especially loved the realism of the FX. So believable. I mean, a lot of sci fi has pretty or awesome looking things, but it's much rarer to find something that looks to be of actual substance.

Anyway, Spoiler Alert, Elysium is like District 9 but with healthcare as it's subject in place of xenophobia and ethnic cleansing.

You might imagine; it rung a chord with me.

The other Copley movie I've seen, many times tx to Cinemax program scheduling ocd stalker issue) is The A-Team. Now, frankly, The A-Team disappointed me. I loved the series as a kid and still appreciate its ridiculous glory, but the movie fell flat. My first impression was a total "meh!"

Upon inevitable re-watch (premium channels only, baybee! i cants takes no commercials!) of the movie, I realized it had some very well done parts. It was just bloated and overreached itself. And I'm not sure how much of A-Team was doomed by The Losers. Because The Losers is one of my bomb ass favorites. It's on the Bef List. And The Losers is based on a graphic novel that loosely resembled....The A-Team t.v. series.

It's the Ciiiiiiiircle of Liiiiiiife, y'all.

That is to say, I was brainwashed into having a tolerance and even affection for The A-Team. (Also, Bradley Cooper's body. What? Is that even possible? I'll take two and don't call me in the morning.)

Anyhoo, from starting with District and ending with Elysium, here have been my thoughts on Msr. Copley:

• That accent is fascinating. Is that a V for a W? Cool.
• Man, this guy is having a bad day.
• Cool movie. Too gross for me to know if I think this guy is cute, though.
• Hmm, he just lit a guy on fire. 
• Murdock has gotta be the funnest and easiest character to play, right?
• Nice accents. Interesting voice.
• Still, there's some good chemistry and some really natural riffing. 
• I still can't tell if I think this guy is cute.
• Okay, yeah, maybe this guy is cute.
• No. No, he's not. Funny, though. He seems funny.
• Hey, is that the guy from District 9? He seems kinda mean.
• Holy shit, that guy from District 9 is a fucking psychopathic killer!
• Okay, I came in halfway through. Let me revisit this movie from the beginning.
• Ah, that's why Matt Damon was being such a dick. Five days to live, sheesh.
• Nope, that is totally Sharlto and is an unequivocal FuckHead.
• Do I think this guy is cute?
• I totally think this guy is cute.
• Wait, do I?

Which is all to say, what a good excuse to watch District 9 again. :)