Unfortunately for everyone involved, this is my primary therapeutic/expressive outlet.
And things are, well, intense in my life right now. Or rather, they feel intense.
I've already advised some folks to unsubscribe or whatever it is all 3.5 of you read this thing do. I'll be talking about some unpleasant and probably nonsensical things as I try to work through whatever is going on in my fronthaid right now. I don't blame anybody for not wanting to watch.
I mean, that's kinda what drives me here in the first place: nobody wants to hear this shit.
And it is undoubtedly very foolish of me to do this in any public way. But for some reason, this format pleases me. I'm not a young girl anymore; my days of filling up journals with the scribblings of depression are over. Have been over, for a long time.
Instead, I'll emotion-vomit all over the Interwebz. I mean, it's got plenty of room. And everybody else is doing it.
And I can't afford therapy and I like all my friends too much to burden them with this shit. Well, at least not directly burden them. I'm obviously not nice enough to keep it all to myself. I am a flawed being.
I'm not saying any of this makes sense. But right now I have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. I do this, literally, every day now. Walk it off. It's surprisingly effective, at least short term.
I'm tired as shit, but that dog don't hunt.
Because if i stop treading water now, I'll drown.
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