Some People Say My Blog Is Funny

I don't really understand what they mean. I mean, I guess it's cool that people can laugh at my pain? I don't know. I'm just telling you the TRUFAX of what happens in my life. Is it my fault that it seems like a French farce had a baby with Woody Allen* and that's my life.

*and they managed to stop him from marrying it this time!~ed. apologize for obligatory Woody Allen joke, included at authorial insistence despite strong advice to the contrary.

If you think my blog is funny, that is like thinking the problem of Worst Cats is some kind of joke.

MEOW MEOW MEOW

It's no joke.

No joke at all.

~ed. the entertaining part of this entry was brought to you by linlin

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Welcome back to Ways I Know My iPhone Is Fucking With Me! It just created a random brand new playlist and it's all impossible male vocals, falsettos, reggae, ben folds five, fuuuuuuuuuuck. I really hope the neighbors can't hear this. Gawd, why do I own so much depressing music? This damn phone doesn't even know how to connect a call or ring properly: HOW THE FUCK IT KNOW HOW TO GIVE ME ANXIETY ATTACK? Apple: Making You Feel Unworthy Of Our Tech. Fook.

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Can you still see that gif of the cat moving? It's unsettling yet strangely hypnotic, yes?


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Tomorrow I start a job for which I am wholly unprepared. I haven't even looked up the two things the boss told me to (one work, one trivia). I've been a little preoccupied. And in a mall. Those places are institutionalized vampirism.