Things That Flutter, Sink, Slither, and Blink

Somedays the bar gets you. Maybe not even in a demonstrable or recognizable way. But you feel it nonetheless.

The times you are your own worst enemy, your worst handicap.

You can legitimately ask, "Why do anything? What is the point?" It's not self-pity, it's a real question. If your life is weighted towards the negative, you've chosen pessimism, you've realized your own ridiculousness; what's the point?

No one is reliant on you. You have debts no honest man can pay. You're too old to start anew and still too deafened by your fading youth to notice that actually You Are So Much Older Than You Think.

Savannah tulips.

You don't contribute anything to the world, and you won't. You haven't learned any valuable, enriching, or even entertaining skills.

This body is not the body you signed up for. It has never worked to your satisfaction and now even the most drastic measures make no difference. This brain doesn't even work as well as it used to, and it never worked that well to begin with.

There is not a single thought in your head that someone else hasn't expressed or applied in some much better way. There isn't a single thing that you've done that couldn't have been done better by many others.

You have been judged by yourself and found wanting.

Life outlooks are choices. So if you find yourself adrift in pessimism (which is the secret cancer of all idealists), what is the point? Why are you still here?

No matter the presence or absence of religious/spiritual beliefs, all humans create a coping mechanism which gives them something to build on in day to day life. Your life can be beautiful, if that's the way you choose to see it.

I had a wonderful few days of Not Giving A Fuck. Or maybe I had a few wonderful days because i Did Not Give A Fuck. Whichever, that is a train in need to board soon.

In other news, hipster douchebag twats have appropriated the monocle. Jesus wept.