Here's How Pain Works Sometimes

I wake in the night and don't know why. I register something like discomfort, not quite pain. More like being uncomfortably aware of organs you are pretty sure are not supposed to have any feeling at all.

It's like the distant echo of pain--your body always knows before you do. And so begins the unfortunate cycle.

You review your data: this is off schedule, is this gonna be like last month and be the pms that was as bad as the period?, you have detected signs that you were missing before: Yup, seems likely. You about to be in a world of pelvic hurt, probably accompanied by GI shenanigans because, well, because that's how it always goes.

See, the pain is bad. Real bad. When it spikes, sometimes all i can do is just lay there. I try heating pads, I try exercise/sweating it out, I try NSAIDs  in unhealthy amounts, acupuncture, TCM herb treatments (nasty, btw, so very nasty), Rx pain meds (which can at least turn the volume down to a manageable level but good luck getting an Rx these days), clean eating, taking unhealthy amounts of Omega-3 oils, and probably ten other things I can't even think of right now.  Hell, if I had found something to abstain from that would end this chronic misery, I'd like to think I'd be smart enough to take that deal.

But that's the prob--all those small steps can help some, and aggregated you get a multiplier effect. But everything has consequences and costs. And there's still no real pain relief--not when it's really bad. Not even when it's just a constant throb, a dull ache that never goes away. 

(Note: The closest I've found are, frankly, narcotics. They turn it down to dull roar and I can go to work. But you best believe I still have to take NSAIDs and do a lot of other crap to keep the machinery going.)

It's exhausting. If you're lucky, you can take something to sleep or either pass out from exhaustion after several hours/days. But, at that point, your non functional. And still in pain. Just unconscious. Less than ideal, as the man said.

Same deal with heating pads/napalm heat creams. You're tied to an outlet, or your skin is on fire. And thank god that heat can bypass a pain signal. But at a certain point, the heat becomes pain. Also, it's awkward af walking around town in a flop sweat. And you still can't eat, feel like crap and blah blah blah. So, you kinda end up. . . . laying around. Notice a trend?

Anyhoo, so at 2:30 this morning I say, "Eff this skullduggery. I see the dark clouds on the horizon. Quick, let me quaff my restorative tonic!" Which means I took my special blend of benadryl, anaesthesia, ahuyasca, and ex-lax* and went back to bed. 

To awake sometime around 7 with confirmation: the pain has arrived. Batten down the hatches, here we go.

Whatever you've got, take it. Vitamins, NSAIDs, etc. Make sure to drink some dairy but don't eat. Your stomach is just waiting to do you wrong, and it's really gonna pissed after a few days of those NSAIDs. Never take on empty stomach, but never fill stomach.

Take a hot shower. Grab your heating pad. If it's 80 degrees in your house, then get a fan. And prepare to stay in front of it. All day. Think about cold showers too.

And you end up later in the day, now, with the afternoon heat having settled around the houses. Finally broke down at ate something b/c, let's face it, it was neccessary. It was also a bad idea. 

The pain has lapped at you in waves, ceaselessly, all day. It hasn't even kicked into high gear yet. It's just slowly wearing you down. At this point, you are either in a coma, delirious from your meds, or delirious from the pain. None of it is fun. I wonder why I even gained consciousness today--b/c all i can do is wait for tomorrow, hope the period starts soon so it can end soon, and try more coping methods tomorrow.

I'm tired of writing about pain. I'm tired of thinking about pain. But mostly, I'm tired of being in pain.

*Pro-tip: beginners might want to watch it on the ex-lax. don't want to make any foolish mistakes.