Evil Kitteh, Walk Away. . .

I think it must be a law of physics that a creature's cuteness is inversely proportionate to its level of evil.

Cackling Away In Private

Okay, so my friend sent me a link to a blog called "Boobs Don't Work That Way."

The point of this blog is to demonstrate the various misrepresentations of the human breast, both male and female, in current media. Methinks this blog will have enough fodder to run for a thousand years.

Anyhoodle, I was flipping through when I came to the below image. Between the text and the images I was pretty cracked up, until I got to the last panel.

Hed iz pasted on yay! I laughed so hard. And my laugh sounded so evil and insane, that it made me laugh more.

I will now post this, and try not to laugh again.

http://boobsdontworkthatway.tumblr.com/post/7661261999/when-i-stumbed-upon-pictures-jim-balents-tarot

(PEE ESS....Didn't work. I Laughed.)

I'm Your Private Hairdresser

O. M. G.

I'm adding a new rule to my list.

--ALWAYS check your hair before you answer the door, especially in the morning.

I got up this morning and nearly gave myself a heart attack when I saw my reflection. I look like Tina Turner from Thunderdome. I mean, this is beyond a hair-don't and into full on Post Apocalypse Hair Rebellion.

The Almighty Didn't Just Improve His Aim: He Hit The Bullseye

Look at that, he hit the fucking bull! Guy gets a free steak!--Crash Davis, Bull Durham

Tsunamis to left of me, tornadoes to the right, and layoffs square down the middle. But I finally have been smited in the most direct, no-fooling way.

About four weeks ago, after six months of wrangling with asshat doctors and pure-t evil insurance companies, I got a very simple 15 minute test done.

Three days after that test, approx 30 days before my layoff started, I received a call at noon on a Friday, asking me to come in at 4 pm to discuss test results.

Shoot. Four pm same-day appt on a Friday at a Beverly Hills specialist? You know it ain't good.

It wasn't. The diagnosis was papillary thyroid cancer.

The good news? As of about five pm Monday, July 18th, I don't have it anymore. Nor do I have a thyroid gland, but that's probably a fair trade, given the alternative. Only time will tell.

There's a lot to say, and I want to put some hopefully useful information out there in case somebody else in the same position stumbles across this post.

I'm a little overwhelmed right now, as this is sort of all happening at once--layoff, filing for disability, filing for unemployment, follow doctor's appointments.

I think it's fair to say it's been a hectic few weeks, and a least one or two more before things slow down.

Right now I'm just trying to take it nice and slow, and not freak out at the mounds of paperwork or the crushing weight of incoming medical bills.

Health insurance is such a load of crap. But that is probably a post unto itself.

Know this, faithful followers and occassional eavesdroppers: all is well for now, and I will post something more coherent in the near future.

Let It Be Sung Across The Land

Though many of us has known this to be true for years, hurney, Imma say once more.

Tink rocks!
Tink is teh awesomez!
Tink is faboo!

Thanks Tink, you have done me a great kindness and I'll not forget it.

In honor of Tink, a vulgar and Amusing video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4bJsIogkGk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Carmegeddon--It's More Than A Fable

So, I have a friend flying into LAX this Saturday. And was all "Wordy McWord" with this following clip. Does that make me a true Angelean? Is that even a word? Fuckit. I don't care. (<---True SoCal right there.)

Tink--this approximates my feelings about the incidents surrounding your arrival. Many people were called in. Bunkers were appropriated. Vodka and guns were ordered.

Dude...."Fucking Sepulveda?? Please."

Oy vey. 

Endings and Immodest Proposals

Today was my last official day at work. As of close of business, July 15th, I am unemployed.

Today also marks the receipt of my second ever official marriage proposal. Strangely, in both cases, the proposal was made in direct response to upcoming lack of insurance and health care. The first time was a dear friend and sometimes roomie, today was my work buddy and bringer of hilarity, So Wrong.

So Wrong and I concluded, simultaneously, that our marriage would be the bomb because we would have the best parties. The fact that we would both be competing for men wouldn't really make too big a fuss, methinks.

I got to talk to two old and dear friends tonight, which is always a gift. I'm watching a terrible made for tv movie with Dougray Scott in it. Why, Dougray, why? Why do you torment me so? (PEE ESS---you don't look even *thismuch* Jewish. Fo realz).

Life is simultaneously picking up and going into slo-mo. I'll have one of those dear and longstanding friends in town this weekend, bless her heart. I think I'm going to have to buy an A/C unit in consideration of her visit.

Tomorrow I chauffer a friend to a medical appointment. Last minute rearranging and the understanding HR staff at my (soon to be former) place of employ made it possible. The ironies involved make it highly unplausible, in anyone's life but mine.  However, this is the Hawkeye Extra Funtime Extravaganza Overload Fluffy Fun Hour.

As a dude once said to me, karma is living inside the box you built.

I don't particularly care for this current box. Perhaps it's time for a new one. Or even better, to eschew them all.

Box-free, that's how to be.