But I Don't Have To Go To Work Tomorrow

Medical bills, more tests, no income, massive debt.

No matter what dreary issue was brought up last night, the immediate antidote was that realization:

But I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

Now it is that tomorrow, and I didn't have to go to work.

As the man once sang:

It's been a long time coming, my friends
It's been a long time coming, but now it's here, now it's here

I QUIT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT JOB. HALLELUJAH!

Weird Al Magic Trick

I legit fell for it. Awesome.

http://i.imgur.com/v6dFs83.gifv

How Bad Is This Job?

I feel like people who hear me talk about this job don't really believe me when I try to express how awful it makes me feel.

But tonight I think I encapsulated it in a brief exchange with Handy J:

Working at this job is more awful than having cancer.

Look, Netflix, Seriously?

I can withstand one cheesey Thomas Jane movie available on streaming.

I can walk away from that.

But two? Two?

TWO!

So it looks like I'm watching at least part of The Punisher. Until I remember how much it sucks and fills me with a strange loathing for John Travolta that's best left unexplored.

Then I'll probably give in and watch at least part of The Deep Blue Sea because: Shark Wrangler Wut? Sheeyit--that's all you had to say. Also, this was my intro to Thomas Jane, whose real name I did not learn for years and called "Chirstopher Lambert's bastard child."

Oh, look: Twilight is available, too.

And then I should probably just start banging my head into concrete.

 p.s.

but really tho

I mean, you see this, right?

It gets even stupider.

Now wait just a minute here. . .

I think the may start to become embarrasingly revealing. So let's distract with the number one "those two guys they are so the same."

Totes twinsies! Oh my lord, what the crapshait????

Okay, I've gone too deep in the interwebz again. By gods, though, his hair is magnificent there. Truly.

Goodnight everybody!

p.p.s.

Thank you, Thomas Jane, for your incredible body of work.

Seriously. Thanks.

And god bless Roy Scheider.

Roto Rooter - All Ye Need Know

https://vimeo.com/24340828

Fo realz.

ABOUT TO WATCH LAST TWO EPS OF WALKING DEAD

OMG!

my emotions! my emotions!


i am so worried about my Rickle Pickle and his recent unsavory behavior.

NEVER GO FULL SHANE! C'mon man, everybody knows that.

And what's with this hyper convenient plot about an abusive husband?

i miss my beardo

ME SEE GIRL ME LIKE...ME TAKE

NO RICK NO!*

I hold you to a higher standard than that. You're better than that. Please be better than that.

Carol: the most lethal of the group, hands down.
Sascha: My girl is having bad PTSD, but she's got legit reasons
Daryl: Aw--he made a friend.Who must be a good guy if Daryl trusts him. He motherfucking better be. I'm watching you, Aarong.

SO MANY FEELINGS

and so to view


*though mgmt cannot explain why the shot of rick talking about "just taking" alexandria was so stupidly sexy. such is the power of rickle pickle.

I'm Having What Counts As A Deep Thought For Me

So, spanking as a fetish/paraphilia--I just don't get it.

Look, I'm not judging you for what you like. Paddle away, mofos. Why, some of my best friends are perverted ass slappers.

It's just something I cannot empathize with. I can understand that it produces a good feeling for you, but I can't for the life of me fathom how.

See, I've gotten my ass beat*, and it tweren't fun. There were lots of feelings involved in The Beatings*, but none of it was sexy. Not Never Not Once. You know what emotion I do remember?

Pain and fear, motherfucker. With a healthy dollop of anger and humiliation.

Anyways, that is the very long winded way of me saying that I never got how people who liked to be spanked could translate pain into pleasure. I know that masochists exist, but to have someone actually take true physical pleasure from being smacked in the behind? No, man. Just no.

I mean, there probably are a small percentage of true masochists who have some different wiring than the average h. sapiens.  So for them, pain really does equal pleasure. But most of that shit has got to be psychological satisfaction. From whence I reiterate my party's consistent platform: How You Gonna Tell Me Getting Your Redass On Is FeelGoodSexyTimes?

But today, for the first time, it occurred to be that maybe it wasn't the pain; maybe people craved the mental anguish, the penance, the guilt, etc.

What if some people want to be humiliated because they find it arousing?

And you know what? In the course of typing this post I can tell you that while I can, embarassingly, relate to this secondary theory more than the first, it remains that I cannot understand wanting to feel shame. To feel embarassed. Isn't that, like, the complete opposite of sexy?

Human beings sure are weird. And I just proved it by the amount of time I spent thinking about such a silly subject. Perhaps I need to expand my intellectual borders. Perhaps I'll annex Vienna.

* This is the obligatory disclaimer where i have to say that my parents didn't really beat me (because i don't even KNOW what a real beating feels like) and i have to apologize to my mom who says this makes her sound like a terrible parent and that makes her sad (and when she gets sad she beats my ass scolds me lovingly)