Maybe I'm Just A Sleeper Bipolarity Disorder

Like, what if the first half of my life was the manic phase? I mean, that's tragic in its own right, considering how much of that time I spent tired, but just go with it.

Maybe I just had a couple decade long manic phase, and now I'm in the depressive cycle.

Maybe that would explain why I am so goddamn exhausted. Because no matter when you see me or how I sound or what I look like, trust this: i am fucking exhausted.

Maybe I just became manic bipolarity crazypants and it's just an exhausting condition?

Or maybe it just needs to STOP RAINING IN CALIFORNIA GODDAMMIT.

later on, i want you to remember this

that it had already occurred to you, the possibility

it wasn't the moment someone else slipped and mentioned it

it was already in your head, it had already hovered around your lips
(confusing you, truly, this isn't how it works)

but don't kid a kidder
when you decide to remember